HAPPY NEW YEAR
I am back in New York. Expect a long entry tomorrow... unless I'm too hungover.

In the meantime, my best wishes for your Y2KVII.

AND I'M TELLING YOU I AM GOING...
It's December 18th already? Christ, how the hell did that happen?

See, here's the deal: tomorrow morning I get on a plane and fly to a faraway land known as Colorado. It's... it's square. And, uh... the roads are mostly paved. Beyond that, your guess is as good as mine.



A few days in Sterling, a day or two in Denver, and a week or so in Loveland (where everybody lives to love). Also a sidetrip to Vegas where I intend to make my fortune, but shhhh. What I intend to happen in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Long story short: unless I get so bored while I'm away that I try to upload from my Treo, this is probably my last entry to The Rob Log in 2006. So please accept my warmest wishes and most sincere-ish thanks for making the past year memorable. Happy Holidays! Happy New Year! Happy... uh... never mind. I guess that's about it.

But no tears. Be brave. I will be back with you in 2007.

Unless, you know, the MSOD gets me first.

AND NOW, A NOTE ABOUT ONE OF OUR RECURRING CHARACTERS
As you know, like any soap opera or sitcom, this blog has a few recurring characters. Like The Gay American, and Cumming.

It looks like one such character -- "Bernie Kerik's Former Mistress" -- will either soon disappear altogether, or provide blog fodder for years to come.

This is why we love The Blogging.

I GUESS I CAN'T ROOT FOR TOM TANCREDO NOW
Via Fark comes a poll to show your presidential preferences in 2008. Here are mine:

(100%) 1: Sen. Barack Obama (D)
(97%) 2: Gov. Bill Richardson (D)
(96%) 3: Sen. Russ Feingold (D)
(89%) 4: Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D)
(84%) 5: Sen. John Kerry (D)
(81%) 6: Ex-Sen. John Edwards (D)
(81%) 7: Gov. Tom Vilsack (D)
(80%) 8: Ex-VP Al Gore (D)
(80%) 9: Sen. Hillary Clinton (D)
(78%) 10: Sen. Christopher Dodd (D)
(77%) 11: Sen. Joseph Biden (D)
(76%) 12: Ex-Mayor Rudy Giuliani (R)
(75%) 13: Gov. Mitt Romney (R)
(73%) 14: Retired Gen. Wesley Clark (D)
(69%) 15: Sen. Evan Bayh (D)
(64%) 16: Gov. George Pataki (R)
(61%) 17: Gov. Mike Huckabee (R)
(57%) 18: Sec. Condoleezza Rice (R)
(55%) 19: Ex-Rep. Newt Gingrich (R)
(54%) 20: Sen. George Allen (R)
(52%) 21: Sen. Chuck Hagel (R)
(51%) 22: Sen. John McCain (R)
(50%) 23: Rep. Tom Tancredo (R)
(39%) 24: Sen. Sam Brownback (R)

Interesting, but -- as usual -- not quite there. For one thing, I haven't quite caught Obama Fever yet. Call me cynical, but the new, exotic, popular kid at school needs to prove himself first. Then we'll see.

My desire to see fresh faces out there (sorry, Gore and Kerry, but your boats have sailed) and my hybrid political philosophy no doubt led to these, uh, interesting results. I mean, Sam Brownback was the only potential candidate who scored less than 50% with me... and I can guarantee you that -- in my heart and mind -- at least 18 of those candidates don't stand a chance of getting my vote.

SO I'M READING GAWKER AND...

As long as we're wanging it up today, we may as well mention the recent cockfight between The New Republic's Michael Crowley and famous author Michael Crichton...

What?

"(F)amous (A)uthor Michael Crichton?!" WTF is that all about?!

Okay, Gawkerites, that's it. We're throwing down.





Then again, maybe I'm being too harsh. After all, Gawker is obviously taking its cue from the other gay media outlets, who are finally heeding my call that they publicize unknown heterosexual writers with no discernible gay content, like Crichton, rather than overexposed gay writers.

Yeah... that's probably it...

Just remember: "Reading Is Hot!"

THE CARNIVAL OF UGLY
Warning: before you click this link, make sure your eye-bleach is close at hand.


(Via Fark)

FROM THE DEPT. OF PEOPLE WHO SHOULD KNOW BETTER
If I try to turn my boyfriend's name into a verb, and the only person who picks up on that verb is my ex-boyfriend, does it still make a sound?

Annnnd... there goes my respect for Chip Arndt.

THE WEEKEND IN REVIEW
Happy Monday. You haven't missed a thing. Billy Hufsey is still 48, people are still not reviewing my books on Amazon, and I still owe Chase Platinum Visa tons o'money plus, I think, Mary Cheney's first-born child.

Oh wait. No, now that I think of it, you did miss a few things. This had slipped my mind, but Friday was not only Billy Hufsey's birthday! Turns out it was also Crash's birthday. Oh, and mine.

I usually don't celebrate -- beyond drinks with friends, that is, which sort of makes every day my birthday -- and this year was going to be no exception. In fact, Bradykins was dragging me to someone else's party... he even showed me a printed invitation.

Imagine my surprise -- true surprise -- when we walked into the party and there stood 45 or so of my friends, ranging from people I see every day to famous authors Greg Herren and Andy Zeffer. And -- oh yeah -- a batch of bloggers. (Meaning that yes, Becky, there will eventually be pictures.)

Bradykins really knocked himself out with this one -- with notable assistance from Patrick, my brother Tim, my sister Marje, and dozens of people who were able to drink with me for weeks and still keep a secret (what?). And if the evening could be said to have a single highlight, it was that they were clever enough to find and decorate the room with archival FARB photographs, like this one:



So thanks to all of you who sent e-mail or left comments, or were able to swing by on Friday night. It was touching and surprising and wonderful, and Billy Hufsey's got nothing on me.

PS: MAK wasn't there. Just sayin'.

T



Happy 48th Birthday, Billy Hufsey!

(And you have a good day, too, Willis.)

THIS TIME IT'S PERSONAL
My, my, my. Number one? I think Google Canada has it in for me.

Damn Canadians.

COUNTDOWN: T MINUS 1

GOTCHA
Did you see the controversy over at Gawker about the 'Confessions of a Bareback Top' guy?

I am here to tell you that it is all bullshit. The crap is almost certainly not true, and 'Bareback Top' is certainly not gay.

He cannot be gay. No gay man would put an apostrophe in 'Barneys.' That's not in our genetic makeup.

I rest my case.

A QUESTION OF CONFIDENTIALITY
I would ordinarily never link to this story, because here at The Rob Log I never bring you news articles of qestionable taste. This blog is all about sunshine and happiness, and don't you forget it, motherfuckers.

However, this article demands your attention. And not just for the man-on-sheep action. No, what makes this article special are the accompanying graphics.

Rest assured that The Sun will never violate the confidentiality of crime victims. Who says that journalistic ethics are dead?

COUNTDOWN: T MINUS 2



It's getting to be that time of year again. Just sayin'...

THE PAIN... THE PAIN...
No, not the root canal (Part II has been put off until next week, by the way). Today's pain comes courtesy of Queerty:

Dominique has admitted to killing 23 gay men over the course of 8 years and dumping their bodies in isolated locations and parishes (um, weird).

The poor kids at Queerty have apparently never been to Louisiana. I would have thought the use of the word 'parish' in association with Louisiana was common knowledge, but everyone I associate with graduated from high school, so maybe I just expect too much.

TRL: YOUR SOURCE FOR THINGS THAT SUCK
I really have to start watching my entries here, because they are generating some unfortunate referrers.

But at least when I see the pencil-necked 'mo, I'll know to introduce myself.

BEYOND WASTING TIME
I know I've mentioned this before, but how is it possible that Towleroad can generate such an frightening volume of incredibly banal comments? Don't these people work for a living?

(And yes, I'm aware that it's almost as pathetic that I'm blogging about someone else's comments. But that's what you've came to expect from me.)

OW! NO! PLEASE STOP!! NO MORE!!! MOMMY!!!!!
Sorry. I'm scheduled for a root canal in 45 minutes, so I'm just getting some practice in.


UPDATE: After an hour of drilling and picking, the dentist decided my bifurcated root should be taken care of by a specialist. So I get to have two consecutive days of oral surgery! How lucky can you get? It's as if Christmas came early!

And I didn't even get any drugs out of the deal. Feh!

OOPS, THEY DID IT AGAIN
Oh, ferchissakes... Five months after I got B&N straightened out, Amazon is now giving my titles away to Rachel Spencer.

Well, at least now we know who she is: another author... published under a Kensington imprint, no less.

But why me? Why not him or her or him? They have published many more books than me, and probably wouldn't mind donating one to the Rachel Spencer ouevre!

Dammit. This is starting to piss me off.

OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

You know, I like Kathy Griffin as much as anyone, but doesn't this seem a bit, er, hyperbolic?

We want to thank you for all your thoughts and prayers during these events. Kathy once again (to make 100% clear) is safe and sound as are all staff members.

Who does she think she is? Omarion?