BUT WHO DOESN'T *HEART* PANDAS?

Oh! My! God! Best story ever, and somehow I missed it!

(Via this, which is also awesome!)

LAMBDA LITERARY AWARD WINNERS

But first... I had a great time last night, and met some way fun people that I'm sure will become close friends. Until they get to know me better, at least. I barely caught the last ferry back to New Jersey, meaning I was up far too late... truly the sign of a good time.

Oh, also, someone needs to feed Christopher Rice. Or maybe I'm just jealous... fat and jealous... and bitter.

ANYWAY! Last night's winners were:

BISEXUAL
Open, by Jenny Block, Seal Press

TRANSGENDER
Intersex (For Lack of a Better Word), by Thea Hillman, Manic D Press

LGBT ANTHOLOGIES
Our Caribbean, edited by Thomas Glave, Duke University Press

LGBT CHILDRENS/YOUNG ADULT
Out of the Pocket, by Bill Konigsberg, Dutton
[PS: I met Bill last night and he is so much fun!]

LGBT DRAMA... which sort of seems redundant
The Second Coming of Joan of Arc, by Carolyn Gage, Outskirts Press

LGBT NONFICTION
Loving The Difficult, by Jane Rule, Hedgerow Press

LGBT SCI-FI/FANTASY/HORROR
Turnskin, by Nicole Kimberling, Blind Eye Books

LGBT STUDIES
Criminal Intimacy: Prison and the Uneven History of Modern American Sexuality, by Regina Kunzel, The University of Chicago Press

LESBIAN DEBUT FICTION
The Bruise, by Magdalena Zurawski, Fiction Collective Two/University of Alabama Press

LESBIAN EROTICA
In Deep Waters 2: Cruising the Strip, by Radclyffe and Karen Kallmaker, Bold Strokes Books

LESBIAN FICTION (a tie!)
The Sealed Letter, by Emma Donoghue, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
All the Pretty Girls, by Chandra Mayor, Conundrum Press

LESBIAN MEMOIR/BIOGRAPHY
Sex Talks to Girls, by Maureen Seaton, University of
Arkansas Press

LESBIAN MYSTERY
Whacked, by Josie Gordon, Bella Books

LESBIAN POETRY
love belongs to those who do the feeling, by Judy Grahn, Red Hen Press

LESBIAN ROMANCE
The Kiss That Counted, by Karin Kallmaker, Bella Books

GAY DEBUT FICTION
Finlater, by Shawn Ruff, Quote Editions

GAY EROTICA
Best Gay Erotica 2009, edited by Richard Labonte & James Lear, Cleis Press

GAY FICTION
We Disappear, by Scott Heim, HarperCollins

GAY MEMOIR/BIOGRAPHY
Edward Carpenter: A Life of Liberty and Love, by Sheila Rowbotham, Verso Books

GAY MYSTERY
First You Fall, by Scott Sherman, Alyson Books

GAY POETRY (another tie!)
Fire to Fire, by Mark Doty, HarperCollins
Now You're the Enemy, by James Allen Hall, University of Arkansas Press

GAY ROMANCE
Got 'til it's Gone, by Larry Duplechan, Arsenal Pulp Press


Congratulations to all the winners! You are now as awesome as I am!

A BOLD AND POSSIBLY DOOMED EXPERIMENT

I am going to try to Twitter the Lambda Literary Award winners as they are announced tonight.

Note that the word "try" is a central part of the previous sentence. Many factors -- connectivity, darkness, drunkeness, short attention span -- could interfere with my plans. Still, "try" I shall.

To follow the probable debacle, follow me on Twitter!

NOT THAT I WANT TO SAY IT, BUT...

(via Joe.My.God.)

...I told you so. I told you to vote for Hillary Clinton. Or at least not run away with your expectations for Obama. Like here. And here.

Okay, probably nothing would be any different today. But at least most Clinton supporters didn't have stars in their eyes and think that every time Obama defecated, another rainbow unicorn was born.

So I'm an old cynical guy, mired in Realpolitik. Sue me.

And welcome to the real world.

Now, what to do next? I wish I could answer that easily. We are on the winning curve of success, but we aren't there yet. Still, I think we're so close that political strategizing will prove more potent than blind protest.

Then again, I've been wrong before. Not often, but it's happened.

EVEN MORE OF A GOOD THING

I forgot to mention this earlier, but -- in addition to this blog, RobByrnes.net, and Facebook -- I'm also now on Twitter. See the sidebar for information on how to follow stalk me.

Okay, admittedly I haven't spent much time yet on Twitter. But I'm getting there. And you wouldn't want to miss those as-they-happen updates on what I'm having for breakfast, would you?

KIDS TODAY

While scanning my apartment complex's tenant website this morning, the title of the following post jumped out at me:


It's probably a sign of my age that the first thing I thought when I saw "PCP" was that the poster was very audacious. Not "primary care physician."

DISSED AGAIN

I could have been a ghost-writer! This just isn't fair!

Oh wait. Yes it is.

PEOPLE ARE STRANGE

I haven't looked at my referrals lately, so... what have we here?

Yep. All kinds of strange.



"Billy Hufsey fucking"? "Sean Penn disembowel"? "Doris Roberts bitch"? "Famous mouth breathers"?

I have the most awesome readers EVER!

But... I can't help you. Billy and I share a birthday, but we haven't shared sex tips. I think he's probably straight. Not that that would prevent him from fucking, but it would probably make me tune out if he was telling me about it.

As for Sean, well... this ain't a snuff blog. Yet. Come back in a few months when I'm really desperate for readers.

Oh, and Doris Roberts probably is a bitch, but -- again -- I have no first hand knowledge. You might want to ask Billy Hufsey.

And I also no longer write about Queerty. So you'll have to find your mouth-breathers on another blog. (Was that mean? My bad.)

But don't give up all hope. I can help you on one search item: "you gave me a chubby."

And so The Paperboy Story reemerges.

Thank you, random Googlers, for helping me feel young and vital for one more last time!

BACK IN BUSINESS

Hola and holla, kids! (Because it sounds very natural for 50-year-old ultra-WASPs to yell "holla!" But still...)

I am back from the Saints & Sinners Literary Festival with a new attitude. About writing, and maybe about myself as a contributing member to the varied body of gay literature. That's a lot more than I had planned to come home with.

One issue I had hoped to resolve in my head -- but didn't -- is what comes next. I sorta kinda maybe think I know, but I also sorta kinda maybe have to think a bit more.

But what a weekend! What great people!

Some quick mental snapshots:

David Puterbaugh's Airplane Story

Marika's Rendition of "The Lonely Goatherd"...
in a Goat Voice.

Watching David, Jeff Ricker, and 'Nathan Burgoine
Read for the First Time

Waiting for "George Glass"

Sitting on a Panel with Betsy Becky Cochrane, Greg Herren,
Jess Wells, and Marty Hyatt

Meeting and Drinking with Michael
Thomas Ford and Andrew Beierle

And this:



If Jesus was a gay writer, you just know the Last Supper would have been at Jimmy Buffet's Margaritaville in New Orleans, right?

There were too many good times to recount, and too many fun and fascinating people to list without forgetting someone. Trust me: you should have been there.

I was one of the few people without a camera. Which is good for the people whose heads would have otherwise been cut off. But in the next day or two I'll try to link to most of the photo collections from the weekend.

Beyond the fun, though, was some priceless education and -- most importantly -- the kick in the ass I've needed for a quite a while to get back to work. Because writing isn't a hobby you should pick up or drop based on your whim of the day. It is rewarding work, but it is work... and I need to start punching the clock again.

Stay tuned.