MASSIVE KITCHEN-BASED FAIL
I don't pretend to be a wizard in the kitchen. As a matter of fact, most of my trips to that room are because that's where we keep that big white box that makes my wine cold.

However, if I were, say, a Member of Congress and asked to, say, contribute to a compilation of recipes, I'd probably try to avoid embarrassing myself. Maybe I'd decline, or maybe I'd ask a friend to give me a recipe, but I wouldn't write about the joys of nuking Hot Pockets at 2 A.M. when you've got a .32 Blood Alcohol Content. Uh... unless I was blogging, of course.

If you've been poking around the InterTubes today, you probably think this is my way of setting up a piggy-backing blog entry on Wonkette's discovery of Senator Larry Craig's 'Super Tuber' recipe. While that is very funny, I read further and was much more intrigued by (former) Congresswoman Sue Kelly's contribution to Republican cuisine: Microwave Chicken.

Ingredients
4 thinly sliced boneless chicken breasts
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup favorite vinegar-based salad dressing

Place the ingredients into microwaveable dish in one layer only. Cover with wax paper. Microwave on high for 7 minutes. Poke chicken with fork, then press with back of fork to test doneness. If juices run clear, then chicken is done. Dust with paprika. Serve with pasta, rice, orzo, couscous, or potatoes.

Now-private citizen Sue Kelly, on behalf of the college students, stoners, and kitchen-incompetents of the world, I salute you!