MR. PATRICK WALLACE EXPLAINS IT ALL TO YOU
Back in my hometown, there's this sort of obnoxious radio talk show host, who also has a sort of obnoxious web site. While I seldom read the talk show host's sort of obnoxious columns, from time to time I read the essays posted on his site from men and women looking for a writing outlet. Every now and then they work themselves up into an internecine frenzy, to my great amusement.

Recently, the regular members have been joined by a writer calling himself (or, perhaps, herself) Mr. Patrick Wallace. His musings have to be seen to be believed. Pants-wettingly funny. I almost wish they were true, instead of an Emily Litella-esque satire.

Mr. Patrick Wallace Has Purple Pool Water

Someone Owes Mr. Patrick Wallace His Free Pork Chop Dinner

Mr. Patrick Wallace and the Killer Weber Grill