IF YOU WAIT LONG ENOUGH, THE EXPLANATION USUALLY BECOMES APPARENT
For decades -- well, okay, maybe only one decade or so, but still -- I have wondered why The Advocate , supposedly THE national gay and lesbian magazine, is generally lame. I mean, it's like People for the same-sex crowd. If they aren't putting heterosexual Dennis Quaid or heterosexual Hal Sparks on the cover, they're giving us the 957th cover story on Melissa Etheridge. It makes Us Weekly look cutting edge. It --- Well, yes, as a matter of fact I do subscribe, but let's not talk about that right now.

Right now we're going to discuss my enlightenment. So that you, too, may be enlightened.

I have come to realize that the reason the magazine is wimpy is because its editors are self-admitted wimps. Witness two recent published articles:

* This associate news editor was nervous about discussing same-sex marriage with his friends and family.

* This news features editor didn't come out to his father until he got his job with the magazine.

Now, I can be as big a wimp as anyone, and I'm actually bored by people who are all gay/all the time. But I'm also not putting out a major gay publishing resource twice a month. I don't think that the Advocate staff has to be especially militant, but the hesitancy they demonstrate in their personal lives is very clearly reflected on the printed page.

So buck it up, kids at The Advocate. Oh -- one more thing. No more Melissa Etheridge, okay? I'm sure that if you look around, you can find another lesbian somewhere.