SUCH A PRETTY, PRETTY BOY
Bradykins got himself a new cell phone. One of them new-fangled ones with a camera. One of them kinds of phones an old guy like me could never learn to work.

So he was playing around with it Saturday morning and he captured me in all my bespectacled, bed-headed, puffy-faced, under-caffeinated glory.

The photo is here. Click on it if you must, but be forewarned: it is not pretty. It is the picture of a man you'd wake up next to in the morning, then check yourself into Betty Ford. It is the picture of a man you'd avoid the next time you ran into him. Or deny knowing. If you had to, you would gnaw your arm off to slip away while he was sleeping. He is a triple-bagger. You would change your phone number if he tried to call... your state of residence if he tried to visit...

And I get to see him in the mirror every morning. Don't you wish you were me?