REPORTS OF MY DEMISE ARE PREMATURE
Hola, kids. I just wanted to pop in and tell you that I had an incredibly busy -- albeit productive -- week at work, and now I'm in Washington DC celebrating the boyfriend's birthday, which is why you haven't heard from me. I know it's been rough on you, and I'll try to make up for it next week.

But stories? Yes, I have stories. Here are a few things you can look forward to reading about next week:

* Getting a Denver boot on a Friday in DC is fun!

* How I spent a luxury weekend at the St. Regis!

* My love/hate relationship with Irene Ryan, and how she ruined my Friday Happy Hour fifty-seven years after her death!

* Strange doings on the Posh Porch! Did the new guy and that couple have a threesome? Was that woman really the result of genetically-combined DNA from Dame Judi Dench and Elaine Stritch? What was up with that guy from Lambertville? And why the fuck wasn't I invited to that party to which everyone else was invited?

* Books are fun! As Trust Fund Boys hits the store in trade paper, another blogger's book fights it for shelf space!

* Amtrak so sucks! Okay, that's not news, but I'll tell you why, anyway!

All that, and more, depending on whether or not I feel like it, is coming to TRL next week! In the meantime, enjoy your weekend, be kind to animals and old people, and... ah, hell, go ahead and kick an old person. I won't tell. Bye-bye!