TICK... TICK... TICK...
Countdown to my 45th birthday: 13 days.

Eek!

To help you in your shopping, here are a few things you need to know:

33 inch waist; 34 inch inseam
16-1/2 collar; 34/35 arms
suits: 40-long
boxer-briefs: medium
cash: smaller bills, nonsequential
beverages are always a good idea
Michael Holland's new CD will be released soon

Or you can just buy books for your friends, and know that I'll be appreciative a year from now when I get my royalty check.