A BRIEF BIOGRAPHY OF FAMOUS AUTHOR ROB BYRNES
It occurs to me that a number of my readers (maybe as many as three or four) must stumble upon this site and wonder, "Who is this Famous Author? What makes him tick? What traumatic events possibly occurred in his life that led to... this?

Thank you for your interest. Let me take this opportunity to give you a very brief glimpse into the seminal -- heh... I used a word with roots in 'semen' -- moments of my life, to date.

The first thing you should know is that I was born on the day Tris Speaker died. The fact that Speaker played a shallow centerfield is, I'm sure, the reason why I grew up to be a shallow centrist. It just makes sense. Karma, and reincarnation, and all that, y'know?

My childhood was spent in Upstate New York, where I grew into a strapping young man. But life on the farm was hard, and deep inside of me I knew that an artist was struggling to get out.

I moved to the Big City on the morning of my eighteenth birthday, and I never looked back. Sometimes you just know that you've made the right decision, no matter what potential adversities await, and this was one of those sometimeses.

But, yes, there were adversities. In the quarter century since I left home with nothing but a few dollars and a dream, I have overcome a series of disasters. For example, and hard as it is to believe, I have never won the lottery. I also suffered the indignity of looking on helplessly as a book by my arch-rival (he knows what he did) was reviewed in the New York Times before one of my books was. Revenge is sweet, though: Cumming will never be able to use any of that review on a book jacket. Haha! As for me, my time will come.

And the men! Twenty-five years of men. (Note, though, that just because I've now found love doesn't mean that you and you and you and especially you should sleep any more soundly.)

So yes, there have been defeats. There have been setbacks. But wouldn't you expect that the path to Famous Authordom would have a pitfall or two? Well, maybe you would have, but I didn't see them coming, and to this day vow to get even with everyone who has ever rejected me, spurned me, or kept me waiting just a bit too long when I was in a hurry.

Still, life is good, and I celebrate it.

And that's what The Rob Log is all about. This web site -- this blog, if you will -- is a celebration of a difficult life well-led. It is but one small way I can return a bit more joy to the drab world around me. And it is a forum in which I can grind my enemies' faces into the mud and gravel whenever I feel like it.

I hope you've come to know me and enjoy The Rob Log just a tiny bit better through this indulgent, confessional entry. It has been my pleasure to share.