DEAR IOWA: PLEASE STOP CALLING
Tonight, I have received cell phone calls from both the 515 and 712 area codes. (No, I didn't answer. Do I look blog stupid?) (Um... don't answer that question.)

Anyway, detailed detective work on my part shows that those are Iowa area codes.

Hmm.

Okay, I know what's going on here. And, yes, there is a great demand for an economically conservative, socially moderate candidate with strong gay rights cred who runs a significant business-oriented not-for-profit corporation and who is also a famous author. And, yes, I would not have only kicked Kerry's ass, but would have made Dean actually cry.

But weren't the Iowa caucuses months ago?

In any event, I am not available to become President of the United States until 2012, at the earliest. I do appreciate the interest, but my focus right now is in doing good things at the Day Job and, hopefully, paying off those pesky back taxes, which I swear I don't really owe, but... well... maybe a little.

Thanks for your interest, though, Iowa. Kisses to you all! 2012, okay?