REALITYLAND, POPULATION 138 MILLION
(or however many damn people live in this city)
Okay, so I confessed my bland white picket fence fantasy. Now it's time to remember one of the reasons why I love this city: theater.

There is, of course, spontaneous theater-on-the-street, which is always interesting. But in this particular instance, I'm referring to good old fashioned theater-on-the-stage. I don't see nearly enough (and right now I'm over-the-top envious that my former roommate saw Assassins the other night, and I'll probably miss it), but I do get to see a preview of Bombay Dreams tonight, so I'll get my fix.

The question is: how satisfying will that fix be? I have a natural aversion to Andrew Lloyd Webber, but since I'm on a benefit committee for the local office of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and we're building a fundraiser around this show, I sort of have an obligation to go. After reading a few articles about Bombay Dreams, it sounds like something I could get into... and, if not, well... I've seen worse theater.

* I had a beet stuffed in my mouth at one show. I hate beets. I really hated the show.

* An entire row of my friends walked out of Dream. I think we were polite enough to wait for intermission, but I can't be sure.

* Even if we did leave during intermission, it could not have been ruder than the time a friend of mine went to see Lesley Gore starring in Smoky Joe's Cafe and got the giggles. For all two hours of the show. So bad that I was crying, and my ribs hurt from laughing. But listen: that was not my fault. Well, okay... maybe I was the person who first suggested that Lesley looked and danced frighteningly like Linda Hunt, but if my friend hadn't started to laugh so infectiously, there probably wouldn't have been such a serious problem.

* And then there was the guy who dressed in drag. And portrayed his own grandmother. And the grandmother ran an adult bookstore. (Come to think of it, I got the giggles during that, too.)

So I'm pretty well prepared for whatever happens tonight. Unless I start giggling.

Maybe I should double-check to make sure Lesley Gore isn't in this play...