FAMOUS PEOPLE CORRESPONDING WITH FAMOUS PEOPLE
Since I am a Famous Author, you probably won't be surprised to learn that I only get the highest quality of spam. For example:

-----Original Message-----
From: Tanya Tucker [mailto:tanyatuckerkb@X.XXX.XX]
Sent: Sunday, December 12, 2004 7:08 AM
To: rbyrnes@eastmidtown-nyc.com
Subject: New product! Cialis soft tabs.

Hi!

We have a new product that we offer to you, C_I_A_L_I_S soft tabs,

Cialis Soft Tabs is the new impotence treatment drug that everyone is talking
about....

And so on...

Now, before you get impressed because Tanya wants me to get me aroused, consider the following e-mail snippet. You know how you get e-mail from, oh, someone claiming former Liberian strongman-tyrant-general meanie Charles Taylor killed his father, but the father had stashed $15.8 million away, and now the son will split that money with you if only you help him smuggle it into a United States bank?

Yeah, you know the e-mail. But get a load of this: you, not being famous, have to deal with the victims. I, being Famous, get to deal directly with Charles Taylor!

THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF THE LIBERIA,
FCT ,MONROVIA,
NO 3456 TRIPOLI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT WAY,
NO 3456 ZAWAI LIBERIA, WERT AFRICA.
DATE: 9TH OF DECEMBER, 2004

PLEASE HELP ME TO TRANFFER THIS MONEY TO YOUR ACCOUNT

ATTENTION:THIS THE FORMER PRESIDENT OF LIBERIA CHARLES TAYLOR. I AM HERE TO INTRODUCE MY SELF AS THE FOMER PRESIDENT OF LIBERIA, WHICH I WAS IN POWER FOR GOOD 12 YEARS BEFORE THE CRISIS STARTED YEARS BACKS, AND LASTED FOR MORE YEARS.

WITH RESPECT TO YOU CONCERNING MY CONDITION NOW, AFTER THE CRISIS THE GOVERMENT OF LIBERIA MADE MEETING IN FCT OF LIBERIA WITH THE SENATORS, WHICH I WAS NOT AMONG THEM
WHEN THE MEETING HELD ON 27TH OF NOVEMBER 1999. AND AFTER THE MEETING I WAS DECLARED WANTED PERSON IN MY COUNTRY WHICH THE PRESIDENT OF NIGERIA OLUSEGUN OBASANJO, CAME DOWN TO MY COUNTRY WITH HIS PRIVATE JET WITH ALL HIS CABINETS, ON 23RD FEBRUARY 2000.

NOW TO BE SINCERE WITH YOU, I AM NOW LIVING WITH MR PRESIDENT WITH HIS FAMILY, I HAVE BEEN LIVING WITH MR PRESIDENT FOR FOUR YEARS NOW WHICH WHEN I LEFT MY COUNTRY I ONLY CAME DOWN WITH US$ 250,000 DOLLARS,I LEFT ALL MY PROPERTY, MY COMPANIES WHICH I INVESTED IN MY FIRST SON'S NAME, BOTH MY CARS, MY JET, MY ESTATE WHICH I BUILT WITH US$1.900,000.00DOLLARS,AND ALL MY BELONGING INCLUDING MY BANK WHICH I OPEN ON BEHALF OF MY FIRST SON...

And so on...

I'm sure you are very envious right now, as well you should be. But I have a very difficult question for you. And that is:

Is it diplomatic to tell a former Liberian president that it's considered rude to type all in caps?

Oh, I've got to go. Catherine Zeta-Jones just e-mailed me that I've been approved for a low-interest mortgage. Damn, but I love being Famous!