JUST STOP THINKING IF YOUR HEAD HURTS. IT'S OKAY
My, oh my. Senator Hillary Clinton certainly opened herself up to criticism over the past few weeks by speaking on a level deeper than a sound-bite, hasn't she? Now, the politician in me wants to celebrate her appreciation of the nuances of public policy, as well as her recognition that a 'my way or the highway' approach is the exact opposite of helpful and effective.

But I am no longer a government official. I am a blogger, and therefore I am compelled to shoot from the hip and join the universal condemnation of her words! How dare she speak to us as if we have the capacity to process more than meaningless slogans?

The brainiacs -- and by 'brainiacs,' I mean 'not-brainiacs-but-I'm-being-saracastic'-- over at 365gay.com have analyzed her comments and revealed her as the Handmaiden of Tom DeLay:

Democrats Openly Courting Anti-Gay Religious Right
by Beth Gorham, CP Washington Bureau
Posted: February 6, 2005 4:02 pm. ET

(Washington) The religious right in the United States is getting proof of their political influence from a surprising source, Hillary Clinton.

Long associated with liberal causes like abortion and gay rights, the Democratic New York senator has been talking lately about God, faith and bridging the gap with conservatives.

Because I know you depend on this blog to do your thinking for you, I want to share some of the words spoken by the apostate Hillary. Here are a few items I found:

In talking about her faith as she travels the country, Mrs. Clinton has taken up a traditional Democratic cause, fighting poverty. In her appearance at Tufts, for example, she said there is a "much broader definition" of "morality and values" than was discussed during the recent elections.

"It is always intriguing to me that so many people have a very narrow definition of morality and then often try to peg their definition, in the case of Christianity, to the Scriptures," she said. "And no one can read the New Testament of our Bible without recognizing that Jesus had a lot more to say about how we treat the poor than most of the issues that were talked about in this election."

Yup. It's true. There she goes, shoving God and morality down out throats.

And take a look at this!

Without retreating on principle, she deftly shifted the focus of the abortion discussion to where there is the broadest agreement, and where President Bush's policy failure is most apparent - namely, abortion prevention. Echoing her husband's call to make abortion "safe, legal and rare," the senator said that abortion "represents a sad, even tragic choice to many, many women," and that "the best way to reduce the number of abortions is to reduce the number of unwanted pregnancies in the first place."

Does she think we're idiots? As the brainiacs -- and by... oh wait, I did that already -- at 365gay.com clearly see, code words like 'abortion prevention' really mean "I am courting the Right Wing and want to institute Christian values throughout the land and also God created Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve,"

Damn her! How dare she think outside the Political Vacuum! If she keeps this up, the Democrats may one day control the debate on morality in the nation! Maybe they'll even win another election!

Oh, and remember: when guns are outlawed, only John Kerry and Howard Dean will have guns. (Wait a minute. That didn't come out the way I wanted it to...)