YOU CALL IT AN ULTIMATUM; I CALL IT A DARE
It all could have been prevented with just a little bit of tact. But, no, when I texted my friends from my train as it eased out of Penn Station on Friday afternoon, Greg sent me back the following message:

I'm not playing 'Entertain Rob because he's bored on the train.'

Greg, of course, was wrong. Maybe he wasn't entertained, but I was certainly entertained over the next three hours and twenty minutes, because every ten minutes or so I'd fire him off a text:

Whatcha doing?

What's happening now? Does it look like it might rain again?

Did you ever see Jaws 3-D? I thought it was kind of stupid.

I just saw a squirrel.

What do you think Tom Bosley is doing right now?

There's a guy on the train who looks a lot like Darren McGavin, But not if you get a good look at him. Could always be a distant cousin, though... although probably not, so never mind.

Still at work? When are you leaving?

If you spell Ohio backwards, it spells Oiho.

Until, finally, I was at Union Station and sent my final text:

Guess what? You did, in fact, entertain me all the way to DC. I win! Bored now.

I cannot wait until my next trip. And aren't you glad I don't have your cell phone number?