Monday, July 25, 2005

Call me Siskel.

Oh wait... he's dead, isn't he? Then call me Ebert. Just don't try to blame me for Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.

Anyway, since I've seen a bunch of movies over the past week or so (two in the theater; the rest on cable) I thought you'd want to know which were worth your time. If this entry saves you any money, e-mail me and I'll give you my mailing address for your tithe.

Totally Worth Watching

Shaun of the Dead -- This one gets four stars. It's one of those rare movies I wish I had written. Very funny, a bit scary, and -- on a certain level -- it even works as a social satire. Also, a bar (or, as they say in England, a 'pub'... how quaint) is a key location.

The Incredibles -- Give this animated superhero comedy-adventure three and a half stars... losing that half-point because it gets a bit repetitious at times.

The Grifters -- Yes, I know it was made in 1990, but I just saw it again and it still deserves its four stars. Plus, John Cusack was a lot cuter in 1990.

You Could Do Worse

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- Sure, you're going to think 'Michael Jackson' the entire time you're watching it, but try to think back to a happier time... when creepy guys in their forties disliked children, instead of molesting them. This movie has a lot of good moments (and some very funny dialogue), but it grinds to a halt whenever the Oompa-Loompas launch into a production number. IMHO, of course. Three stars.

Bewitched -- Go in with limited expectations and you'll be just fine. Just try not to reflect on the squandered potential. And if you really want to protect yourself, make a popcorn run when Steve Carell shows up as Uncle Arthur. Trust. Two and a half quarter stars.

Worse Worst

Lost in Translation -- This -- this! -- was the fabulous movie that the world was raving about last year? Good lord!! If this boring, depressing, joy-sucking waste of film had gone on another 15 minutes, I would have drowned myself in the bathtub. While it isn't unusual for me to wish that characters would die, this movie has the distinction of making me wish the actors would also die. Minus seven stars.

This entry presented as a public service of The Rob Log. And it will probably be updated soon, because I know something's slipped my mind... It's hell getting old.