RANDOM ACTS OF BLOGNESS

1. When I saw this headline, the first thing I thought of was this. It is so, so wrong to think of Dick Cheney's penis in any context, and I am sorry for sharing.

2. Until he remembered that I am now a resident of New Jersey, Harlis wanted me to run for Mayor of the City of New York. In an compromise, I guess I'll have to become the next governor of the state of New Jersey. Anyone interested in being my homeland security advisor?

3. Note to Howard K. Stern: watch your back.

4. Famous Author Scooter Libby found guilty on four counts. Insert 'caged bear' joke here.

5. I am 98% certain that I'll be in New Orleans in May for Saints & Sinners. See you there?