Friday, February 23, 2007

I recently mentioned that I was wrapping my head around a new attitude -- enthusiastic, organized, creative -- and while that primarily pertained to my professional and personal lives, it would also be wise to apply it to my blogging presence. Let's face it; this blog is a bit disorganized, and there's really no theme the casual reader can wrap his or her head around.

Uh... random bitching and sarcasm is not a theme.

So in an effort to make March, 2007, The Month of The Rob Log, last night I sat down and plannned an entire month's worth of entries. Check it out. I'm sure you'll agree that it's shaping up to be the best month ever!


Thu 3/1: Theme: announcement of the Lambda Literary Award finalists. If I am a finalist, be modest; if not, be faux-noble, just like in 2005.

Fri 3/2: Theme: Kittens!!

Sat 3/3: Theme: Things I Fear. To include spiders, clowns, heights, dark alleys, Norwegians, and Taco Bell.

Sun 3/4: Day of Rest

Mon 3/5: Theme: self-deprecating entry about falling, getting lost, doing something incorrectly, Replying To All inappropriately. Tone: just kidding; we all know that I'm better than you, but if I sound humble every now and then, maybe my readers will stick around.

Tue 3/6: Theme: something about my next novel, and how it's not too early to pre-order, although it really is too early to pre-order.

Wed 3/7: Meme: 'Top 10 Ways Kids Picked on Me in Adolescence, Eventually Leading to the Creation of This Blog.' Tag blogroll.

Thu 3/8: post photos of myself. Even though they were taken in 1992, pretend they were from the past weekend. Remember to PhotoShop out Albany and Rochester backgrounds, replace with Manhattan.

Fri 3/9: Theme: my brother's birthday. Use event for a long, self-referential contemplation on the vitality of youth, and the fact that, in aging, one continues to gain knowledge and reach a deeper understanding of the universal truths of life. Make sure to note that he is now 37, which makes it plausible when I try to pass for 35.

Sat 3/10: Quiz: 'Which Barry Manilow Song Are You?' Try not to be Daybreak.

Sun 3/11: Day of Rest

Mon 3/12: Theme: Daylight Savings Time started yesterday, and I am giddy with sunlight-drenched happiness!

Tue 3/13: Theme: the icy rain is ruining Daylight Savings Time for me, and someone is going to pay for my mood. Oh yeah...

Wed 3/14: Theme: my four year anniversary with Bradykins. Tone: smug superiority; feigned sympathy for single people.

Thu 3/15: Make veiled reference to another blogger who is discouraged and about to quit because of sniping from the haters. Urge him to hang in there. Save my personal sniping at said blogger for personal e-mail with friends.

Fri 3/16: Meme: 'Ten Chatroom Screen Names I've Used;' tag everyone on my blogroll.

Sat 3/17: Unofficial Day of Rest while I try out various chatroom screen names.

Sun 3/18: Official Day of Rest

Mon 3/19: Theme: Stan-O-Rama is a punk. Discuss.

Tue 3/20: Theme: write something completely unexpected. Possibly involving a blog entry that doesn't use the words 'I' or 'me.' If possible.

Wed 3/21: Quiz: 'What Bush Administration Official Are You?' Try not to be Condi Rice.

Thu 3/22: Abruptly announce hiatus because blogging no longer brings satisfaction and there are too many haters out there

Fri 3/23: On hiatus

Sat 3/24: On hiatus

Sun 3/25: On hiatus; also Day of Rest

Mon 3/26: Return from hiatus by announcing that I won't let the haters get to me

Tue 3/27: Theme: my mother's birthday, which was formally marked while I was on hiatus. Use event for a long, self-referential contemplation on the wisdom that accompanies the slow physical deterioration that comes with age. Make sure to note that she is now 70, which makes it plausible when I try to pass for 35.

Wed 3/28: Write something designed specifically to get my name in Gawker. Again. *cough*

Thu 3/29: Express my disappointment that Gawker did not pick up on my entry; express my disappointment that Gothamist did pick up on my entry. And they spelled my name wrong. 'Byrnes' and 'Rob.'

Fri 3/30: Write entry on all the haters who leave comments at Gothamist. Uh... and how they didn't bother me. No, really.

Sat 3/31: Unofficial Day of Rest; try out more screen names.

Sun 4/1: Announce my new position as Editor-in-Chief of Queerty.