THE NEXT GREAT LITERARY FEUD

A brief history of my literary rivals:

• Cumming wrote a book, and never wrote another. Vanquished.


• The Gay American wrote a book, and never wrote another. Vanquished.

So now who's on deck? Who dares to next challenge my literary supremacy?

Don't even think of it, Screech. Or you, too, shall be vanquished.

By the way, the fourth Famous Author Rob Byrnes novel -- Straight Lies -- is definitely scheduled for an April, 2009 release. If Screech is smart, he will stay far away from my publication date.

Or else this is going to get very, very ugly.