Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Once, in the 1920s, Scott and Zelda Fitzgerald amused themselves (and certainly no one else) by spinning around in the revolving door at the Plaza Hotel for a half-hour. They did this while drunk and, probably, mentally unbalanced.

I offer my readers this factoid because I would really like to know how the drunk and unbalanced Fitzgeralds could successfully complete this task for a half-hour while increasing numbers of New Yorkers can't seem to make one revolution. Seriously.

The building which headquarters Famous Author Rob Byrnes, Inc. has six revolving doors, one pair at each of the three entrances. This has given me several unique vantage points over the past few weeks to witness (a) people look at the doors with puzzlement; and (b) people attempt to push the doors in the wrong direction.

According to Wikipedia, these doors have been patented for almost 130 years, meaning that not only are they not a new concept to you, they weren't a new concept to your great-grandparents. And yet I've witnessed a half-dozen of you who have been positively dumbfounded by this radical new concept in recent weeks. I can only imagine what you make of that newfangled thing they call the elevator.

Oh, and those of you who do manage to properly walk into the revolving door but expect everyone else to do the pushing? Yeah, you know who you are. I want to be the guy who doesn't push, then waves everyone else away while you stand there trapped in your little glass compartment.

Okay, I'm done.