Monday, November 02, 2009


Wow... it's been so long since I blogged that I almost couldn't find my password. Uh... sorry. For future reference, that password is: BUY-BYRNES-BOOKS... although I suppose I have to change it now. Wouldn't want you messing up my Twitter feed, and all that.

Anyway, before I give you my endorsements -- which you will obey -- you should know what I think about politics. Not the bullshit that idiots on the left and idiots on the right ascribe to me when they make assumptions (based on, uh, no facts) about my beliefs; the real deal. Read it, judge it, then decide.

Hmm. Maybe I shouldn't term those people "idiots." They're probably smart... ish. Just unable to think outside the talking points. But it would be convenient if they'd coordinate, because -- when I can read on one night I'm getting my talking points from Bush/Cheney, and on another that I'm part of the gay outing clique. Eh... that's the Internet for you. No one -- especially that NG/Nelson guy, who is probably the most humorless fool with a computer (remember?) -- has to think too hard, otherwise it would hurt.

So, here are a few things I believe:

1. The government doesn't owe you a living. Get off your ass and work, dammit! But:

2. If you can't work, the government owes you a decent living. Not a great living, but decent. Did you ever notice how almost everyone opposed to "government handouts" is able-bodied and employed? And did you ever notice the minute they become handicapped or unemployed, their attitude changes? Yeah. But:

3. Every time you fall, it's not the government's fault. Or even the private sector's fault. Maybe not even your fault. Still, pick yourself up and go for it again. And again, and again.

PERSONAL INTERJECTION: Almost 13 years ago, I moved to Manhattan from Upstate New York (after a very successful 14-year career with the New York State Assembly) and figured I'd have no problem getting a high-paying job. I was wrong; months later I started rebuilding my career from scratch. If, at age 38, I could start all over again like I was fresh out of college, you can, too. Nothing wrong with a little humility in exchange for a paycheck.)

4. Coming out was the best thing that happened to me... NOT because it saved my life (which, of course, it did), but because it helped me gain an insight into what it was like to NOT be a heterosexual WASP male. As a result, I grew to have empathy with people who were not Just. Like. Me. And, yes, my eyes opened to a lot of things I hadn't noticed before.

5. I believe scare tactics -- every Muslim is carrying an IED; every grandma is going to the death panel -- are childish and beneath us.

6. I am pro-choice, but not always comfortable with that. I think money spent on abortions would be better spent on preventing abortions. Pretending no sex is happening doesn't stop people from having sex; it only causes more problems. So that's where some money should go, right?

7. I believe that gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgenders deserve every legal right given to every other citizen of the United States of America.

Uh... and I haven't even touched foreign policy. Whatever; we'll do that next year. Anyway, your votes should go to:

Jon Corzine, for Governor of New Jersey. Two reasons: Republican Chris Christie is a hypocritical, reprehensible, anti-gay right-winger. Also, he's fat. Okay, scratch, #2: I'm fat, so I don't care about that. I only care that Jon Corzine is doing his best in a tough economy, and he's an inclusive governor. The GLBT community is not part of a Chris Christie "vision." Beyond that, his economic vision isn't in line with current realities.

Bill Owens for Congress, NY 23 CD -- He would probably deserve to be elected anyway. But the Classy Opposition in the wake of Assemblywoman Dede Scozzafaza's withdrawal makes this easy.

Dan Garodnick and Jessica Lappin for New York City Council: both hard-working, both honest, both an asset to a body that needs more hard work and honesty.

Denise Murphy McGraw for Niskayuna Town Board: I knew her when. She was good then, and she gets better and better. Niskayuna, are you listening?

Mike Bloomberg or Bill Thompson for Mayor of New York: Yes, I know... the ultimate wimp out. But these are two skilled managers, and the fact that New York City has these opponents -- instead of two talentless hacks -- as contendors to be its next mayor is a sign of progress. Vote your conscience.

Maine and Washington: Vote pro-Gay and pro-equality. Protect yourself and your fellow citizens.

Remember to do the right thing tomorrow and vote. Correctly.

Otherwise, I'm coming over for a little talk...