HOW I SPENT MY WEEKEND
(or, ADVENTURES IN TIME-WASTING)
Friday evening: Go to Happy Hour. Bitch and drink G&Ts because My Regular Bar is out of white wine for the third straight day. Go home. Pass out.

Saturday: Do laundry for the first time in a month. Rediscover clothes I had forgotten I own. Cool.

Saturday evening: Go to Happy Hour. Bitch and drink red wine because My Regular Bar is out of white wine for the fourth straight day. Finally wear bartender down, and he calls for more wine, which arrives via cab 30 minutes later. Go, Rob! After a few drinks, discover that my drinking companion is as unenthusiastic as I am about being out. Go to Gray's Papaya for hot dogs to soak up the booze. Go home. Feel ill. Pass out.

Sunday: Wake, then quickly run to the diner for an omelet before the hangover can kick in full-force. Task accomplished, spend the rest of the afternoon playing solitaire and watching mediocre Chris O'Donnell movies. For fun, pick up copy of Publishers Weekly, then get annoyed for reasons I will not be discussing in a public forum.

Sunday evening: Go to Bronxville for a dinner party. Drink. Hang out until 3 AM. Pass out.

Monday: Return from Bronxville. Watch Boy Meets Boy marathon on Bravo to finally see what all the fuss is about.

Monday evening: Finish watching BMB marathon. Question James's taste in men. Drink. Flesh out notes on ideas for next two books. Pass out.

As for my liver, it is definitely in TGIT mode...