TELEPHONE? WHAT'S A TELEPHONE?
My e-mail is out, and that pisses me off. I'm lost. I'm isolated. I'm cut off from humanity... alone... adrift... with only a telephone, fax and my own voice to communicate with the thousands of people strolling down Third Avenue who I can see out my window.

This is like some sort of sick, twisted reality show: Survivor: Outlook.

Sigh.

Well, anyway, while I'm paralyzed by my lack of e-mail, I'd better take the opportunity to ask if you want to join me and a few of my nearest and dearest at a Very Special Episode of Gashole on Friday, June 6. At this one-time performance, the beautiful and talented Karen Mack and Michael Holland (my imaginary boyfriend) are presenting a salute to the Tonys, which includes a show built around Tony-nominated songs, a big-screen TV, some food, and an open bar, all for the low, low price of $40. Is this a great country, or what?

If you'd like to go, drop me an e-mail or leave a comment. But move quickly! I'm making reservations on Wednesday, May 26.