THE CLOSETED HOMOSEXUALS OF THE IVORY COAST
A few moments ago, as I was about to delete my 18th African Money Scam e-mail of the day (they're now coming faster than pitches for Viagra and offers to see Jenny on her webcam), I stopped before my finger pressed down the button and, instead following the lead of John at AmericaBlog, decided to entertain myself.

Using one of my top secret e-mail accounts, I wrote:

Dear Miss Harriet Sayler:

I thank you very much for your very kind letter soliciting my assistance in helping you obtain the money that is rightfully yours. I would like very much to assist you. It is a crying shame that such a thing could happen in this day and age.

The Ivory Coast is very beautiful. I was there as a merchant seaman some 30 years ago. Now I am retired. My wife Peggy and I live outside of New York City, where I am a part-time church pastor. Living near New York City would make it easy for me to help you, I think.

Please email me more information to see how I can help. I see also that this message comes from your brother. I will need his first name, so I can make sure that he is not a practicing homosexual. The Lord would not condone work done to benefit Sodomites.

Peace be with you,

Alexander Bertrand Kyle

I figure I can play with these people in my spare time for a few days. After that, I think I'll start putting them in touch with each others' e-mail addresses. Maybe they can make each other some hidden Nigerian cashola!