CALL THE ASPCA -- I THINK I'VE GOT A LIVE ONE!
Sheepish admission first: I read The Corner, the group-blog by National Review writers. But only for the pictures!

That having been said, I just came across the disturbing story of an encounter between NR editor Rich Lowry and one of those Gatlin Brothers, of whom I suppose you can contact Michael for more information.

The title of the entry - “STUD DUCK, MAJOR RECTUM” - is strange enough, as is Lowry's apparent new title as 'baby stud duckling.' Baby stud duckling? Those crazy conservatives! But the sentence that jumped out at me was this:

Trying to warm a begal in the microwave, he asked someone to help him with “the radar machine.”

No, I'm not referring to 'the radar machine.' That's sort of cute (and also sort of Michael, come to think of it.) I was referring to the obvious typo 'begal.'

Begal. We have two options here.

1. It is a misspelling of 'bagel,' and the Gatlin Brother was heating up a snack.

2. It is a misspelling of 'beagle,' and the Gatlin Brother and the Baby Stud Duckling were planning to dine on the flesh of a puppy!!

I'm pretty sure I know which option is correct, but I'll let TRL readers jump to draw their own conclusions.

UPDATE: Once again the conservatives have spoiled my fun. Kill-joys. They powers-that-be at The Corner (and don't think I don't know who to blame!) have corrected the spelling of 'bagel' on their blog. I suppose it was naive to think that a bunch of click-throughs from TRL wouldn't be noticed. Ah well.

The truth is that Lowry and Gatlin do not eat puppies.

They eat bunnies. Raw.