Tuesday, September 14, 2004

SOMEBODY OUT THERE DOESN'T LIKE ME
Or, more to the point, somebody doesn't like Trust Fund Boys. Whatever. They have that right. Well, they have that right until I'm Attorney General.

The story is this: on the book's Amazon page, the childishness is getting a bit out of control. First, as you'll recall, I (along with a number of other writers, but this blog is all about 'I') was being barraged by 'customer buying advice' directing prospective readers to far less popular (and possibly unreadable) books. Thanks to my slavish followers faithful readers, we addressed that problem with good humor, spiced with a dash of petty vindictiveness.

But a new problem has emerged. Now someone is targeting my reader reviews. Amazon gives readers an option allowing them to register whether or not a reader review was helpful. Routinely, if anyone even bothers voting, the feedback is positive; the exceptions tend to be negative reviews, where you can probably assume the author and his mother are trying to discredit the reviewer.

Let's take an example: my first novel, The Night We Met. Of the 14 four- or five-star reviews. 49 of 57 voters found the reviews helpful. And even the lone idiot sloppy reader who posted a two-star review batted 3-for-4. Grand total: 52 'helpfuls' out of 61 total votes, or 85%

But with Trust Fund Boys? Three reviews (all five-stars, of course) have netted 8 'helpfuls' out of 18 total votes, or 44%. So what's up with that? And let's not even mention that poor Matt's review is getting particularly beaten upon.

There's really not a lot I can do about this silliness but vent. And in all honesty, I can't believe that whoever is getting his rocks off doing this is having the slightest impact on sales, so it's not worth more than this. But I wanted to get this out of my system. I mean, I don't see it happening to any other authors, so I've got to think that it's a personal matter.

And if you, the Obsessed Anti-Fan, are out there reading this right now, why don't you take the time to drop me a line and explain what your problem is? Then we can try to work it out. (Not really. I'll crush you like a bug, and you know it. You think you're the only childish, petty person? Hah!)