WITH MOMS LIKE THESE...
So Lynne Cheney -- author of hot girl-on-girl sex scenes and seemingly willing sexual partner of Dick Cheney -- thinks it is 'cheap and tawdry' that John Kerry mentioned her daughter's open, affirmed, acknowledged, and paraded-when-convenient lesbian status. What's up with that?

Is Lynne embarrassed? Sounds like it to me.

Mrs. Cheney, if you're reading this (and, of course, I'm sure you are, since the Internets say I'm famous), I've got a revelation for you: your daughter is a lesbian. This isn't innuendo. This isn't gossip. This isn't mud-slinging. It's a statement of fact. You and your husband have even said it yourselves when it suited you politically.

As the gay child of - gasp - parents, meaning that I've got almost 46 [Ed. none of your business SHUT UP!] years of that parent-child relationship thingie under my belt, I've got to tell you something. When you say "(t)he only thing I can conclude is he [Kerry] is not a good man. I'm speaking as a mom," I have to disagree.

A decent mother wouldn't be ashamed of her daughter's sexuality, or sacrifice her daughter's dignity for votes. Lynne Cheney, you are the person here who is not good. Now go hug your daughter and apologize, and tell her it won't happen again.

(Let me tell you, folks, it's tough being responsible for all this relationship advice. I hope you all appreciate that.)