PREMATURE EVACUATION
What?!! Michael Powell is leaving the FCC?!! This can't be happening! Who will protect us from Janet Jackson, Howard Stern, and Married By America? Bono will run wild in the streets, and children will be subject to f-bomb strafings from Saving Private Ryan!

Michael Powell, we can't let you do this to us! There are still bloggers who swear! There are homosexual cartoon sponges out there just waiting to indoctrinate our children! Radio deejays are wetting themselves in anticipation of saying 'boobies' on the air!

This sucks more than the new season of The Apprentice. Today, I weep for our nation.