GAY-VAGUER THAN THOU
The last 30 hours have been a real eye-opener for me.

First, the Sunday New York Times gave its readers -- which included me, this week, since the deli was out of the Post -- a guide to the straight-gay vague-gay continuum, which indicates that I just might be (gasp!) heterosexual. Of the nine items on their chart, I could only state a preference for five; and, of those, I selected the 'straight' option four times and the 'gay vague' option once. Pathetic! I almost turned in my OCR collection.

But my shock was compounded a short time ago, when Karen revealed that (gasp!) people in Provincetown think Patrick Doyle is straight. I dunno... must be the Tommy Hilfiger underwear.

Fortunately, things were put back in perspective when TMFTML -- the world's gayest straight boy -- went back to that Times chart and revealed the items that were edited out.

Whew. I can't speak for Patrick, but at least I'm gay again.