Friday, February 24, 2006

First JT Leroy, then James Frey, then JT Leroy again, and now... Marley.

The story is more than a recounting of Marley's antics that include chewing through doors, expulsion from obedience school, clawing paint off concrete walls, devouring furniture, swallowing valuable jewelry and swooning over soiled diapers.

The excitable, good-natured lab also knows how to protect the family's tiny children and consoles the couple when they grieve over a miscarriage.

Sources tell me that the Marley story is about to break wide open. And you get to read all about it here first!

The case against Marley? I thought you'd never ask:

1. Marley never chewed through a door, let alone multiple 'doors.' In fact, my sources tell me that Marley only once ran through a screen door after spotting a squirrel in the yard. This is a gross exaggeration!

2. Marley was never expelled from obedience school. Yes, he failed English and Trig, but he made up the credits in summer school. Once again, gross exaggerations are being made to portray him as a 'bad dog.'

3. Swallowing valuable jewelry? Don't believe it. Mrs. Grogan lost it in Vegas, and pointed the blame at Marley when Mr. Grogan asked her what happened to her engagement ring.

4. Swooning over bad diapers? Well, uh... yeah, that happened.

Here is the kicker, though: the 'Marley' on the cover isn't even the real Marley. Grogan and his publisher used a dog-body-double! What's more, my sources tell me that Marley wasn't even a dog! Marley was a cat, but John Grogan thought that a 'dog' book would sell better. And he basically admits this in the Reuters article:
"It's really not just a dog book," Grogan said in an interview with Reuters.
Am I wrong? No, of course not. It's just another sham memoir... another illness in the epidemic.

I just hope this gets exposed before Oprah embarrasses herself again. Oprah, if you're reading this -- and I know you are, because I'm Famous, too -- stop the booking before it's too late!