YOU SAY TOMATO...
Stupid article. I don't have an accent.

[I'm actually surprised that the linguists didn't mention the wider range of the accent. I get pegged for a Chicago native quite frequently, and -- except for an hour in O'Hare twenty years ago, which doesn't count -- I've never been there. Maybe Northern City Shift + New York City After a Decade = Chicago. Hopefully someone will commission a study to get to the bottom of this.]