DIY PUBLICITY!
Well... not exactly DIY. More like 'make you do it.'

Here's the deal: as you might have heard, I have a book coming out in mere minutes. Now, you know I'm famous Famous, and I know I'm Famous, but there are a lot of people out there who don't know that, because, well... they are idiots. They are sheep, and must be spoon-fed their knowledge of celebrity.

So get ready to feed them.

Tool Number One: go here.

Tool Number Two: submit items such as this:

I just saw Famous Author Rob Byrnes
walking on Third Avenue in the 50s.
He was talking on his cellphone and
I overheard him say "Jake would be
perfect," which probably refers to
the rumor that Gyllenhaal will be starring
in the film version of his novel 'When
the Stars Come Out.'

And feel free to be creative. The kids at Gawker will love it.


PS: Remember to send me a copy of your 'sighting.' I'll probably be posting them here eventually.


UPDATE: Welcome Gawkerites! If you're here, you obviously know that my scheme for self-promotion was foiled. (Figures Balk would make his first visit in the last year on today of all days.) Fortunately, I have a marketing back-up plan. Oh -- and even though I got caught, feel free to do the Gawker Stalker thing anyway. I mean, it could be true...