INSTRUCTIONS ON WRITING, PART 492
From the news wires: a cautionary tale about how Grace Metalious ruined her own life:

Fans heard from Jeanne Gallant, Metalious' former neighbor, who described Metalious as an extremely intelligent, passionate writer whose biggest dream was to become a famous author.

Obviously, she did it all wrong. It is, of course, capital-F 'Famous', capital-A 'Author'. If you're going to be all about the lower cases, you are doomed to failure and obscurity.

Like Grace. And e.e.

And P.S. to the Associated Press: it's Metalious's, not Metalious'. I don't care what your stylebook says; I am correct. Note and heed my capitalized title.

Class dismissed.

--Famous Author Rob Byrnes