DRESSING ON THE SIDE
Apparently, while I was off getting drunk in commemoration of Cinco de Mayo (preceding the days in which I'll get drunk to commemorate the links between fashion and art on Madison Avenue, Friday Happy Hour, and whatever other excuse I can come up with for Saturday night afternoon) every blogger picked up The Smoking Gun's report on the now-famous Oprah Salad-Tossing incident. I'm only in the 'D's on my blogroll and already I've come across it at Chrisafer's site and Defamer, and who knows how many other sites are yet to come.

This lemming-like behavior by bloggers can't be tolerated. It demonstrates an absence of imagination and---

Oh, who am I kidding? I am so pissed off that I'm late to the salad-tossing party. Damn damn damn!

Putting aside my envy over being scooped on the salad-tossing (which sounds sort of obscene, in and of itself), in reading through the complaint letters on TSG, it appears that Oprah may also be guilty of manslaughter:

"The Oprah show described with graphic detail a sexual term known as 'tossing salad.' It was so offensive that my child's head literally exploded."
[Given that correspondent's recent tragedy, I think his or her letter was notably sober and professional.]

Not surprisingly, even though it's 9:30 in the morning here in Manhattan and I should be eating something greasy to soak up last night's remaining traces of tequila, I've already decided on what I want for lunch. Go figure.