BREAKING NEWS: BUSH ATTACKS FLORIDA'S REPUBLICAN SENATE CANDIDATE
Less than a week after congratulating Mel Martinez on his win in Florida's Republican primary for the United States Senate, President Bush has lashed out at Martinez, claiming that because of his party's candidate, and I quote, "Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

And we all know that if your OB-GYN can't practice his love with women, the country's moral fiber will be destroyed.

This is almost without precedent, dear readers. A Republican president attacking a Republican senate candidate is Big News. Why, even Alan Keyes didn't come under fire from Bush, and Keyes said naughty things about the Vice President's daughter!

Martinez was already in trouble for calling his primary opponent, Bill McCollum, the "new darling of the homosexual extremists," despite the fact that two of Martinez's key advisors are openly gay. Now that Bush is openly accusing Martinez of preventing OB-GYNs from loving women, can his candidacy be saved?

[From the archives: Call 1-800-MARTINEZ]
(Via Wonkette and BoiFromTroy)