Monday, October 18, 2004

I wasn't going to blog politics this week. Really. For two reasons.

First, because I started this blog purely for entertainment purposes. I do have political beliefs, of course, but I'm proud to have friends who span the ideological spectrum. While my readers largely know where I stand on any given issue, I think of this blog as a place where anyone -- well, anyone who considers me to be minimally entertaining -- can come and play without fear that I'll be lecturing them.

Second, because what kind of idiot would turn to TRL for thoughtful political analysis? I mean, really, people!

However, I feel compelled to briefly revisit the Mary Cheney controversy, because -- thanks to AmericaBlog -- it seems that there is a way to prevent situations like that from arising in the future, thereby protecting Mary's new-found privacy and eliminating the need for Dick and Lynne to issue further calls for blood-lust revenge. Quite simply:
"The ex-gays are living proof that change is possible... Happiness requires hope, and real hope is the knowledge that many men and women overcome unwanted same-sex attractions every year, even those who believed at one time that they were born that way and had no choice."

It is a perfect solution to a sticky Cheney Family problem. No longer would John Kerry and John Edwards be able to smear Mary's name by branding her a lesbian, which must be a secret Democartic code word because, well, everyone knows that lesbians are icky. No longer would Mary be callously given a sweatshop-like six-figure salary to be a professional homosexual, since we now can assume her resentment over that exploitation. No longer would Dick and Lynne need to be enraged that their child-rearing has been called into question, because I'm sure that they thought they were being good parents by allowing young Mary to wear jeans and play softball. How could they have known that their lax parenting would one day result in sexual deviance seldom seen outside the state of Oklahoma?

In short, this would be a prime definition of a 'win/win' situation. I do hope the Cheneys take the fine ex-gay folks up on their offer. It will make us all much happier.

Well... except Mary.