Tuesday, May 24, 2005

WELCOME TO MY LIFE
You know how it feels when you're pushing a piano up a steep flight of stairs, but the weight of the piano is too much for the stairs to hold and it breaks through, and for a brief moment you think everything will be all right because you'll land on top of the piano, but when you hit the basement floor -- the concrete basement floor -- you realize that the piano is coming down right on top of you, and then the force of the crashing piano makes the foundation buckle, and the basement walls start to collapse, and you think that's about as bad as it's gonna get, because you're trapped with a broken pelvis under a piano with everything collapsing around you, and then you realize things can get worse, because the collapsing basement wall has ruptured the gas pipes, and then a passerby flicks his lit cigarette butt into the rubble...

...oh -- and everyone says it's all your fault?

Yeah. That pretty much sums up the first 6 hours of my Tuesday.