M4M4$
It's tough to be so popular. From the mailbag:

From: georgesmith [mailto:georgesmithazuka@redacted.com]
Sent: Wednesday, August 03, 2005 2:33 PM
Subject: HELLO DEAR

Hello Dear,
How are you and your family? my name is George smith azuka. I want to use this opportunity to seek for your assitance. My client who is based in the united states sent me a blank money order for a job which i did for him.four pieces of $950 U.S money order. Total sum $3800.

I will really appreciate your assistance if you will be able to help me in cashing the U.S money order in your bank in the U.S,and send them back to me through western union... (etc.)

To which I responded:

Dear Mr. Azuka:

Thank you for contacting me. Please be advised that a "small percentage" of $3800 is far less than the reward offered to me this morning by Mrs. Patricia Ogumba, widow of the former Nigerian Finance Minister.

However, since you called me 'dear,' I assume you are a homosexual, like me. Therefore I want to help you, if you are attractive. Please send me a current picture, stats, preferences, etc. No fats, fems, etc. Your picture gets mine, and then we can make that transaction via Western Union!

TTFN,
Dick Rickoffer IV

PS: Did you get my e-mail address from Gay.com? Just asking!!

I hope he writes me back. I've been so lonely...