VOTE OR DIE GET BITCH-SLAPPED
If you are a Democrat anywhere in New York City -- or Buffalo, Rochester, and Albany, for that matter -- get out and vote in today's primary. If you are a member of a political party anywhere else in the country having a primary election today, you should also get to the polls.

If you don't, I'm gonna bitch-slap you. Not afraid of a doughy middle-aged white guy? Fine. Then I'll send Hikaru to bitch-slap you. Argument over.

For the record, I'm quite confident that four of the five candidates I voted for this morning will lose. But that's not the point. The point is to vote for the person you feel is most qualified, and deserves your support.

And not for nothing, but if I was to be, oh, on the ballot as a candidate for Manhattan Borough President in 2013, and discovered that you had not voted, I would be very disappointed. Not that I'm making plans, of course.