OH, ONE MORE THING...
Behold, Famous Author Rob Byrnes, the All-Powerful! (FARBTAP? Nah, now we're getting ridiculous.)

Just wanted to let you know I cured cancer the other day. I don't know why it's taken scientists so long, because I just decided that one of my characters no longer had cancer and -- poof! -- not a mutant cell to be found.

Gotta go now. I'm gonna try to tackle heart disease before Happy Hour. Ta-ta!