Tuesday, January 22, 2008

NEW TRENDS OBSERVED: PARTY SWABBING
So to honor the memory of Dr. Martin Luther King, on Sunday night the boyfriend and I invited fourteen or fifteen people to our apartment for binge drinking. (Note: one of them was African-American, so we did, indeed, do our part to promote racial harmony.)

Like any civilized people, we cleaned the hell out of the place before our guests arrived, because pretending you don't ordinarily have laundry and coffee cups strewn throughout the apartment is the only polite thing to do. If we wanted outsiders to know how we really live, we'd be in relationships with them. Am I right?

Anyway, since we thoroughly cleaned then removed all trash from the premises, I was taken aback the next morning to find...

...a half-dozen Q-Tips in the bathroom wastepaper basket.

Have I missed something? Is there a use for cotton swabs that I'm not cool enough to know about? Or is it now considered acceptable to go to a party and clean your ears?

Eh. I'm just glad I thought to put away my toothbrush before the guests arrived...