Monday, March 02, 2009


I'm going to let you in on a dirty little secret. Many writers -- including myself -- aren't in love with the physical act of writing. The intellectual exercise (for lack of a better phrase), yes; the sitting-down-and-typing part... not so much. That's one reason why this blog tends to short (and increasingly infrequent) entries. It's also why I'm always behind in my e-mail. In other words: It's not you, it's me. (Unless it is you, but assume it's not.)

But it's been two weeks since I posted an entry, and I suppose I owe you something that isn't "Drunk Naked MAK Passed Out on the Bathroom Floor." So what follows is a random list of items off the top of my head at an ungodly hour on a Monday morning...

* The Ungodly Hour -- It's 4:11 AM as I type this sentence, and I've already been up for eighty minutes. This, alas, is typical recently. I have no idea if it's because I'm now fifty years old and settling into an "Old Man" lifestyle, or because I recently started Chantix.

* Yes, Chantix -- I'm on Day 11, and I know I was supposed to quit on Day 8 but I'm still smoking. Meaning I'll either quit cigarettes or I'll quit the drug in the next day or two. So far, though, I haven't really felt the Stop Smoking Love.

* Speaking of Love... -- Have you bought your copy of Fool for Love yet? Well, why not? I have to say it's an outstanding anthology, and I'm proud to be included in its pages. If you're still unconvinced, here's a recent review from Richard Labonte that should put you over the edge.

* Speaking of Recent Reviews... -- Hate to do this, but might as well get it out of the way. Unfortunately, the reviewer who was assigned Straight Lies didn't seem to have a sense of The Whacky. Whatever. This review rolled off my back almost immediately, which must mean I'm maturing... although, as in this case, it's always a head-shaker when you're criticized for something that should have come as no surprise to the reviewer. There's nothing about the Straight Lies book jacket or cover or catalog copy that would suggest it's anything but a manic, over-the-top romp. Again: Whatever. I offer this to you in the same spirit in which I wrote these words two years ago:

Hmm. In re-reading this, I may be giving the impression that [his] review was wounding to me. It really wasn't, but it's clear that he isn't into the type of novels I write, and therefore was probably not the best choice of a reviewer, just as I'd be ill-suited to review gay erotica vampire novels. But since he didn't seem to know in advance what he was getting, I figure I'd better warn the rest of you.

Also... Idiots!

* Also, Buy Straight Lies -- I don't think that needs elaboration.

* Also, Come to the Straight Lies Launch Party -- If you're in the New York City area, plan on swinging by and joining us at my kick-off party for Straight Lies:

Thursday, April 2, 2009
6:00 PM -- 9:00 PM
The Ritz Bar & Lounge
369 West 46th Street
Second Floor

If you've never been to one of my book parties, please don't feel intimidated by not knowing the format. Basically, it's no different than going to a bar, except we'll have books available for you to buy (including some copies of Fool for Love and my backlist: The Night We Met, Trust Fund Boys, and When the Stars Come Out). I will have a glass of wine at six o'clock to calm my nerves, and by nine o'clock will sign my name in a loopy, unintelligible scrawl, which is one of the reasons I no longer make a little speech at these events. Oh, and the bar is cash, but Happy Hour -- like life -- is cheap at The Ritz, so it's all good.

* Also on the InnerTubes... -- I still have some work to do -- adding my anthologies, more booksellers, etc. -- but is mostly done. There's something about the pending release of a new novel and the knowledge that people will start Googling you again to give a man the incentive to finish a project that he's sat on for over a year. Check it out and give me your feedback. Also, while I was toiling away on the design, I discovered that the Nigerians had finally given up the domain, which I quickly purchased and had pointed at ".net," so now I'm doubly covered and basically have become the only Rob Byrnes in the universe.

* New Orleans is Part of That Universe -- And I'll be there in May for the Saints & Sinners Literary Festival. Rumor has it I'll even be reading from Fool for Love... even though Jeffrey Ricker and I are locked in a fierce competition over who has the most grating speaking voice, so you might want to take that into consideration when planning your schedule that weekend.

And that's enough updating. Even though it's still the middle of the night.