Please don't let the patrons at the bars I frequent get any ideas from this news article.* As a happily-partnered homosexual, I go to places for conversation and conviviality, not aesthetics. If even one patron thinks this is a good idea, I may go blind.
Sincerely and Reverently,**
Famous Author Rob Byrnes
* - And I'm not referring to bar brawls and homicide, although those are bad, too.
** - 'Reverently.' Heh. Think I fooled him?