AN OPEN LETTER TO JIM McGREEVEY
Dear Former Governor McGreevey:

I think you are under a mistaken assumption, and I want to help clarify things. I would have thought this was self-evident, but... obviously it isn't. Frankly, that explains a lot about the judgment you showed in Trenton, but that's another topic for another time.

When we call you 'The Gay American,' we don't use that term to praise your leadership and impact on gay issues. We don't use that term as a form of affection or to elevate your status in the community.

No, Jim. Here's why we call you 'The Gay American': derision and mockery.

That makes it really painful to read that you continue to refer to youself as a Gay American. Or, to be more precise, and to use your exact lettering, A GAY AMERICAN.

(PS: just a personal stylistic preference, but I think it would have been cool if you had used an exclamation point, too. Or maybe several.)

Just in case you still aren't clear on this, let me re-emphasize this by putting it in a simple equation:

"The Gay American" = Us Mocking You

If it helps, that equation is almost identical to this one:

"The Decider" = Us Mocking Bush

Now, I appreciate self-parody as much as the next person -- hell, that's sort of what this blog is all about -- but I really think you should aim for sobriety in something as serious as a court proceeding. You know, gray suits and a tie, not giggling or drawing with crayons, etc.

Oh, and just FYI, if you really feel compelled to label yourself, please be advised that The Committee to Mock People (Northeast Division) is about to launch your new nickname, so you might as well start using it:

"The Douchenozzle American"

Sorry, but The Gays don't want you to be affiliated with them anymore.

Sincerely,

--Famous Author Rob Byrnes