Friday, January 25, 2008

[To the tune of whatever tune you want. I am not responsible for your earworms. But this is as good a time as any to mention that for the past several days, apropos of nothing, the greatest hits of The Little River Band have been playing in my head. Especially "Cool Change." It came out of nowhere! How strange is that? In any event, that's not the blues, so don't let that be your earworm. Okay, so on to the lyrics:]

Started up a blog
back in 2003;
Didn't care who read it,
'cause I wrote it just for me.
Okay, I know that's a cliche,
So don't e-mail me that news --
(Oh, wait, you shouldn't use 'cliche'
in lyrics for the blues.)

Anyway, the years flew past,
Some readers came and stayed;
Mocked Queerty and the Advocate,
And, yeah, the New York Blade.
Had some Sid-O-Rama drama,
Posted naked pics of MAK;
But now my site statistics say
them readers, they ain’t comin’ back.

So how come no one’s comin’ back?
Please someone, give me clues;
Tell me, ‘cause I’m tired of singing those
This Blog Ain’t Got No Readers Blues.


Used to get some comments,
Now there’s hardly any there,
Used to get some Gawker links
But the Gawker folks no longer care.
I should feel a little hurt,
And more than a little pissed,
This blog is so pathetic, that
It’s even dissed by Gothamist.

Could they all have just got bored
With my nights of cigarettes and booze?
Then I’ll rehab, ‘cause I’m tired of singing those
This Blog Ain’t Got No Readers Blues.

[harmonica solo]


Some say I’m not for everyone,
Some tell me I’m too mean,
But you’d be mean, if you’d seen and done
The things I’ve done and seen.
And anyway, this blog is tame,
That’s not a lie or tall tale;
It’s only ten percent as mean
As I can get in e-mail

I promise not to faint or die
When you give me the bad news;
But I need to know, I’m tired of singing those
This Blog Ain’t Got No Readers Blues

Ah, fuck it. I got yer weekend earworm right here: