Tuesday, March 31, 2009


It's heeeeeere!

And I've been so damn busy earning a living that I almost missed the Big Day!

Over at Joe.My.God, Straight Lies is the featured giveaway for this "Swag Tuesday." And novelist Frank Anthony Polito has given me a nice (and unexpected) plug over at Kenneth in the (212).

Oh, and Booklist has reviewd Straight Lies and wrote:
In this caper heist, Byrnes (When the Stars Come Out, 2006) comes up with obstacles likely and improbable as Grant and his longtime lover, Chase, try to steal a compromising videotape of gay film legend Romeo Romero (who’s been out and proud for decades) making hot love in his hot tub to a hot, buxom blond. The actor’s legions of gay fans would reel from the revelation of their Romeo’s closeted heterosexuality, so blackmail’s the scheme. As the two small-time con men try to claw their way up the crime ladder, they add an assortment of larcenous misfits to their gang until it resembles a hilarious bad-dream team. They then fail to secure the tape, so decide to re-create the sex scenario. Of course, everything that can go wrong does, making all the scheming and strategizing that somewhat slow the action resolve into a laugh-out-loud endgame farce with definite switch-hit appeal.
See? Straight Lies will make you laugh out loud. It says so on the Internet, so it must be true.

Finally, I taped an interview recently with Jonathan Griffith of "Talking About:" that has made it to the Internet. Understand that I am not a trained public speaker, and have a bad habit of babbling and mangling the points I want to make, usually inadvertently insulting someone or something in the process. With that in mind, you can spend almost twenty minutes of Quality Byrnes Time by going to the "Talking About:" site and clicking the "Rob Byrnes" tab, or see it here on Google Video.

Oh yeah (speaking of babbling)... remember that Thursday night, April 2, is the book launch party. Show up at the Ritz Bar and Lounge, 369 West 46th Street, between 6:00 PM and 9:00 PM and say hi!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


Hi, kids.

You know, for someone with a book coming out in a week -- officially, that is; I hear that some of you have already received your copies of Straight Lies -- I have been extremely negligent with the care and feeding of the blog. Personally, I blame... (closes eyes and randomly points)... Scott-O-Rama and MAK. If they hadn't stopped blogging, this would have been taken care of weeks ago!

So after you send them your hate mail, listen up. I gots things to tell you.

1. I finally once again have a web presence that's not this blog. Go to RobByrnes.net for the latest. And I'll stop you before you go there: yes, it needs work. I have a life, okay? I'll get to everything, including a new staff page (which will only mean something if you've been reading my stuff since 2002. If not, where were you?)

2. My mailing list now stands at about 500 names, but I'm sure I've missed a lot of you. If you want those important updates about Everything Byrnes, e-mail me and I'll add you.

3. If you're going to be in New York City next week, we're havin' a party to launch Straight Lies. The important info:

Straight Lies Book Launch Party
Thursday, April 2, 2009
6:00 PM to 9:00 PM
The Ritz Bar & Lounge
369 West 46th Street

No RSVP needed, but I'd love to see you. If you're so inclined, we'll also be selling copies of Straight Lies, as well as my backlist. In fact, we even have a special deal: $40 will get you trade paper copies of Straight Lies, When the Stars Come Out (winner of a Lambda Literary Award I stole from Timothy James Beck), Trust Fund Boys, and The Night We Met... that's $57 worth of literature! Who says I'm not sensitive to the global economy? [Note: AIG bonus babies can get these four books for a mere $915,000... still a value!]

4. Even though you'll no doubt note the Amazon links, please support your local independent bookseller, especially those of the LGBT variety. For a few dollars more on a purchase, you're protecting a valuable institution in our communities. Except that one bookseller that never returns my calls or e-mails. Those people can just wither on the vine until they collapse.

5. Also, InsightOut Book Club members are encouraged to buy their hardcover publication of the book, which I think is scheduled to be a featured selection this spring. If you're not a member... why?

6. And have you bought Fool for Love yet? It is extraordinary! Felice Picano, Greg Herren, Trebor Healey, Andrew Holleran, Joel Derfner, Rob Williams... plus a group of writers you'll be hearing a lot from in the next few decades, including my friends David Puterbaugh, 'Nathan Burgoine, Mark G. Harris, and Jeff Ricker. Not to mention the editors -- Timothy J. Lambert and R. D. Cochrane -- who made even me look good. Buy this book!

7. Which reminds me: R. D. Cochrane -- better known around these parts as "Becks" -- has written an absolutely wonderful sequel to her first solo novel, A Coventry Christmas. I loved A Coventry Christmas, so I don't even know what word to use to describe her follow-up, A Coventry Wedding. It was just about perfect... or maybe it was perfect. Boys and girls, if the idea of a "romance novel" leaves you cold, read these books. I know you'll become a convert.

8. Finally, I need to nod to my favorite book of 2008: Frank Anthony Polito's Band Fags! I loved this book! And I am so excited that the sequel, Drama Queers!, will be out in a few months. Pre-order now.

9. How many times do I have to beg you? MY e-mail is Rob@RobByrnes.net. Do it!

10. This space intentionally left blank.

Thursday, March 19, 2009


Paranoid Disorder:Low
Schizoid Disorder:Low
Schizotypal Disorder:Low
Antisocial Disorder:Low
Borderline Disorder:Low
Histrionic Disorder:High
Narcissistic Disorder:High
Avoidant Disorder:Low
Dependent Disorder:Low
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:Low

-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --
-- Personality Disorders --

(via Becky)

Thursday, March 05, 2009


Coincidentally, William Ross Wallace's great great great grandson is equally a bad influence on me!

Oh, and memo to Kensington: don't wait for my apology. I'm made of tougher stuff that Eddie Allan.

Monday, March 02, 2009


I'm going to let you in on a dirty little secret. Many writers -- including myself -- aren't in love with the physical act of writing. The intellectual exercise (for lack of a better phrase), yes; the sitting-down-and-typing part... not so much. That's one reason why this blog tends to short (and increasingly infrequent) entries. It's also why I'm always behind in my e-mail. In other words: It's not you, it's me. (Unless it is you, but assume it's not.)

But it's been two weeks since I posted an entry, and I suppose I owe you something that isn't "Drunk Naked MAK Passed Out on the Bathroom Floor." So what follows is a random list of items off the top of my head at an ungodly hour on a Monday morning...

* The Ungodly Hour -- It's 4:11 AM as I type this sentence, and I've already been up for eighty minutes. This, alas, is typical recently. I have no idea if it's because I'm now fifty years old and settling into an "Old Man" lifestyle, or because I recently started Chantix.

* Yes, Chantix -- I'm on Day 11, and I know I was supposed to quit on Day 8 but I'm still smoking. Meaning I'll either quit cigarettes or I'll quit the drug in the next day or two. So far, though, I haven't really felt the Stop Smoking Love.

* Speaking of Love... -- Have you bought your copy of Fool for Love yet? Well, why not? I have to say it's an outstanding anthology, and I'm proud to be included in its pages. If you're still unconvinced, here's a recent review from Richard Labonte that should put you over the edge.

* Speaking of Recent Reviews... -- Hate to do this, but might as well get it out of the way. Unfortunately, the reviewer who was assigned Straight Lies didn't seem to have a sense of The Whacky. Whatever. This review rolled off my back almost immediately, which must mean I'm maturing... although, as in this case, it's always a head-shaker when you're criticized for something that should have come as no surprise to the reviewer. There's nothing about the Straight Lies book jacket or cover or catalog copy that would suggest it's anything but a manic, over-the-top romp. Again: Whatever. I offer this to you in the same spirit in which I wrote these words two years ago:

Hmm. In re-reading this, I may be giving the impression that [his] review was wounding to me. It really wasn't, but it's clear that he isn't into the type of novels I write, and therefore was probably not the best choice of a reviewer, just as I'd be ill-suited to review gay erotica vampire novels. But since he didn't seem to know in advance what he was getting, I figure I'd better warn the rest of you.

Also... Idiots!

* Also, Buy Straight Lies -- I don't think that needs elaboration.

* Also, Come to the Straight Lies Launch Party -- If you're in the New York City area, plan on swinging by and joining us at my kick-off party for Straight Lies:

Thursday, April 2, 2009
6:00 PM -- 9:00 PM
The Ritz Bar & Lounge
369 West 46th Street
Second Floor

If you've never been to one of my book parties, please don't feel intimidated by not knowing the format. Basically, it's no different than going to a bar, except we'll have books available for you to buy (including some copies of Fool for Love and my backlist: The Night We Met, Trust Fund Boys, and When the Stars Come Out). I will have a glass of wine at six o'clock to calm my nerves, and by nine o'clock will sign my name in a loopy, unintelligible scrawl, which is one of the reasons I no longer make a little speech at these events. Oh, and the bar is cash, but Happy Hour -- like life -- is cheap at The Ritz, so it's all good.

* Also on the InnerTubes... -- I still have some work to do -- adding my anthologies, more booksellers, etc. -- but RobByrnes.net is mostly done. There's something about the pending release of a new novel and the knowledge that people will start Googling you again to give a man the incentive to finish a project that he's sat on for over a year. Check it out and give me your feedback. Also, while I was toiling away on the design, I discovered that the Nigerians had finally given up the RobByrnes.com domain, which I quickly purchased and had pointed at ".net," so now I'm doubly covered and basically have become the only Rob Byrnes in the universe.

* New Orleans is Part of That Universe -- And I'll be there in May for the Saints & Sinners Literary Festival. Rumor has it I'll even be reading from Fool for Love... even though Jeffrey Ricker and I are locked in a fierce competition over who has the most grating speaking voice, so you might want to take that into consideration when planning your schedule that weekend.

And that's enough updating. Even though it's still the middle of the night.