I'LL BET IT WASN'T PERFUME

Almost certainly, it was cologne.

Specifically:

THE SCARIEST THING YOU'LL READ TODAY

According to this survey, Ann Coulter is saner than 96% of WorldNetDaily readers.

Think about it.

A FORTUNATE SERIES OF EVENTS FOR WHICH I WILL TAKE CREDIT

1977-1981: Union College in Schenectady, NY was a sleepy campus until I came along and taught them how to have a good time.

1981-2006: Students at Union College continued to perfect their "having a good timedness" to the point where Republican United Stated Representative John Sweeney decided to drop in uninvited at a fraternity party. The subsequent, and inevitable, photo op proved to be one of several nails in the coffin of his political career, and he lost to newcomer Kirsten Gillibrand.

Sweeney, probably before he started chanting "Toga! Toga! Toga!"

January, 2009: United States Representative Kirsten Gillibrand was appointed to the U.S. Senate to replace Hillary Clinton. Union College continued to perfect its partying.

July 27, 2009: Senator Gillibrand announced that she had gotten an agreement that Senate hearings to repeal Don't Ask/Don't Tell will be scheduled for the fall of 2009.

Also on July 27, 2009: The hard work of Union College students from 1977 through 2009 was finally rewarded, when the school was named the thirteenth biggest party school in the nation by the Princeton Review, the only New York college to make the list.


And to think... if I had never gone to Union, there would have been no Sweeney scandal, meaning no Gillibrand, meaning no DADT Repeal hearings.

Sometimes, I even amaze myself with my awesomeness.

E. LYNN HARRIS, 1955-2009

News comes today that bestselling novelist E. Lynn Harris died yesterday at age 54. Although details are sketchy, this has been confirmed by those close to him.


The award-winning Harris was an extreme rarity among openly gay writers who write on LGBT themes: he was a best-seller with a broad fan base. Moreover, the man who once sold copies of his book store-to-store from his car trunk never forgot his roots, and always worked closely with gay independent bookstores when he was touring.

The very small world of gay writing lost a big one yesterday. He will be missed.

CHELSEA SCHILLING, WE HAVE A FEW PROBLEMS

Chelsea Schilling must be too stupid to breathe on her own. Seriously, is her IQ over 40? Then again she writes for WorldNetDaily -- the journal of record for the tin foil helmet set -- so intelligence would be a decided liability.

Good thing Chelsea Schilling is a drooling moron. She fits right in, especially with this "article":

On this week's 40th anniversary of the Apollo 11 moon landing, President Obama praised the pioneering American astronauts and recalled his own childhood memories in Hawaii of NASA capsules splashing down in the Pacific.

But Houston, we have a problem. The president actually lived in Indonesia in 1969.

[snip]

During his speech with the Apollo 11 crew, Obama told the astronauts:

"The country continues to draw inspiration from what you've done. I should note, just personally, I grew up in Hawaii, as many of you know, and I still recall sitting on my grandfather's shoulders when those capsules would land in the middle of the Pacific and they'd get brought back and we'd go out and we'd pretend like they could see us as we were waving at folks coming home. And I remember waving American flags and my grandfather telling me that the Apollo mission was an example of how Americans can do anything they put their minds to."

However, Obama lived in Indonesia as a child, from 1967 to 1971, with his mother and stepfather – and not with his grandfather and grandmother, Stanley and Madelyn Dunham, in Hawaii.

Despite several statements made by the president about his childhood years in Jakarta, Obama's own White House biography begins with his alleged birth in Hawaii Aug. 4, 1961, and makes no mention of Indonesia.

It was not until Obama turned 10 that he moved to Honolulu to live with his grandparents....

Okay, since Chelsea Schilling seems to have less intelligence than the average radish, let's help her out.

1. Obama didn't say he witness the recovery of the Apollo 11 capsule. He said he witnessed the recovery of Apollo capsules.

2. While the Apollo 11 splashdown was in 1969, there were a number of subsequent splashdowns after 1971... in other wo0rds, after Obama moved to Hawaii.

3. Do you understand yet, dumbass?


Chelsea Schilling must be making a play to become Queen of the Birthers. I'd say she meets all the analytical and intellectual requirements for the job.


[Postscript: why continually spell out the full name "Chelsea Schilling." Because I want this to be Googlable, of course!]

LE CHAPEAU

You ask beg, I respond. Presenting: The Hat.

These photos were taken a few weeks ago when I made my appearance in Rehoboth Beach. Now my dozens of daily blog readers who weren't in attendance can witness the awesomeness of the hat!


With Chance Mitchell
of the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce


With Bradykins, at Gallery 50


Watch for future appearances in and around my apartment complex...

BY THE NUMBERS

A time summary of my recently-completed trip to Atlanta:

Total hours between 4:30 AM Monday car service to Newark Airport through 7:00 PM Tuesday arrival back home:
38.5

Hours spent sleeping:
7

Hours spent sleepwalking/locking self out of hotel room/waking up and going to front desk wearing only shorts and polo shirt to be let back into room:
0.5 (est.)

Hours spent in bars:
2.5

Hours spent at Outwrite Bookstore for reading and signing:
2

Hours spent practicing for reading and signing:
2.5

Hours spent unwinding in hotel room:
3

Hours spent walking the streets of Atlanta:
2

Hours spent showering and caffeinating:
1

Hours spent going to airports, passing through security screening, waiting to fly, flying, killing more time in airports, and returning from airports:
18

My life is awesome and glamorous, isn't it? Please try to contain your jealousy.

ON TO ATLANTA

Hmm. Apparently I have a blog. Who knew?

Sorry for the neglect around this place, but I'm going to try to be better. Not that you haven't heard that before.

But, before getting better, I need to get to Atlanta. If you're around, come see me as I make an appearance at Outwrite Books on Monday night. The deets:



Maybe this weekend I'll share some pics from Rehoboth. Would that make you forgive me?