HOW TO SEE THE COUNTRY

One Beef'n'Cheddar at a time.

HERE, LET ME HELP

Here I am, putting the 'free' into freelance editing!

The 4-Point Guide to Discrediting Rham Rahm Emanual Emanuel

It's official: Rham Rahm Emanuel has accepted Barack Obama's offer to become his chief of staff, according to MSNBC's "source very close to Rham Rahm Emanuel." So what about "partisan" Emanuel can Republicans glob glom on to immediately to paint Obama's first appointment as evidence of the Democratic president-elect's incompetence?

• He swears, saying "fuck" a lot. Read: He's an angry, angry man! This is especially important because the GOP will be called racist if they try to make Obama out to be an angry black man.

• Emanuel is a ballet dancer. Read: He's a fairy and won't be able to stand up to terrorists!

• He sends out Christmas cards to members of the press corps, featuring his three children very prominently. Read: He's a liberal Christian, the worst kind! Except … he's Jewish.

• His brother is Ari Emanuel, the Hollywood superagent and inspiration for Entourage's Ari Gold character. Read: Rham Rahm comes from a family of egomaniacs and Hollywood liberal elite! Oh, wait, that argument didn't work against Obama?

De nada.

V-J DAY

Oh, lord. Not to be All About Victoria Jackson/All the Time, but... yeesh!

Unless I can't find it (possible, because I am the Sad Grandpa of blogger types), there's no timer on this video. But she is right wing-but-charming and a bit funny for approximately the first quarter of her presentation. I don't agree, of course, but that shit doesn't bother me. Recognizing that there will always be The Righties, I'd rather have funny, amiable ones that, say, 150 of the current members of congress and their Earth Mother, the governor of Alaska.

Then -- as they say -- it gets weird. But judge for yourself.

God, please put this woman on the next national Republican ticket! Amen!



UPDATE: I just spent over an hour watching that drivel. My head hurtss. I should be working for Media Matters or something. For your own safety, save it for a period when you have a block of free time.

IS BILL O'REILLY FOR OBAMA?

No, seriously, I know that sounds preposterous, but how else can you explain this?

I think it's clear that only an Obama supporter would give Victoria Jackson a national forum to humiliate herself.

Poor thing. I think we always knew she was never the sharpest tack at Staples. But now she's more like a piece of bubble wrap trying to be a tack. Let's hope dinner theater has a lot of vacancies, although maybe 'WalMart greeter' would be a better fit.

WHEN THE WORDS DON'T MATCH THE MOOBS

Sayeth the Governator:

"Every year in March I come here to organize the Arnold Classic, which is all about building the body and pumping," Schwarzenegger said.

"That's why I want to invite Senator Obama because he needs to do something about those skinny legs. I'm going to make him do some squats.

"And then we're going to make him do some biceps curls to beef up those scrawny little arms. But if he could only do something about putting some meat on his ideas.

"Senator McCain on the other hand is built like a rock. His character and his views are solid."

And if anyone knows "solid"...



Uh, yeah. Okay, thanks for putting things into perspective, Arnie!