JUST A FEW SHORT BLOCKS FROM MY APARTMENT



I could have been killed. But did you call, text, or e-mail to express your concern? No.

I am so disappointed in my readers. Joe My God gets dozens of comments, and I get none? Wow. I thought you were past all that Trust Fund Boys-era animosity.


UPDATE: Uh... okay, your lack of concern tells me that you know I don't live that close to the accident. But if the plane had crashed .45 miles earlier, and -- instead of flying into the 40th Floor or whatever -- it had nosedived into the second floor, and if I had been home in the middle of the afternoon for the first time in three years, well... I could have been in danger!

Ah, screw it. You like Joe My God and not me. I accept that.

But if you want to see something really scary, blogger Kip Esq. is someone who has every reason to have his heart going thumpa-thump right now. Check out his entry from yesterday afternoon, and his exclusive home video.

THE HAZARDS OF MASS TRANSIT
I must be taking the wrong trains. Or the right ones...

HOW TO STRETCH A BUDGET IN MANHATTAN
Since someone asked, here are a few tips from The Rob Log on how to make your dollars last just a little longer when you're caught in a sudden financial squeeze.

1. Walk to Work. Okay, so I had gotten a bit lazy over recent months, and took the subway to work. Mass transit shaved 10 minutes or so off my commute, but added an additional $4 in daily expenses. This one was an easy one.

2. No. More. Cabs. Cabs can be an especially difficult thing to give up, especially when My Regular Bar is in Hell's Kitchen, but home is on the far edge of the Upper East Side. A cab ride home only takes 15 minutes or so, but costs $10-12. Nice. On the other hand, mass transit can take over an hour, but only costs $2. When dollars are short, kids, take my advice and go MTA. Just make sure to completely empty your bladder before leaving the bar. Seriously.

3. Speaking of bars, well, yes, my Happy Hour hours have had to be trimmed back. But it's possible to still play with the other kids. Rule #1: try to stick to Happy Hour, when the drinks are measurably cheaper (especially at My Regular Bar.) Rule #2: restricting those nights out to one or two per week is advisable. Going out five or six nights a week used to be fun, but is sort of counter-productive to the whole 'saving money' thing.

4. When drinking at home (alone, pathetic, like some old lady who dies unnoticed and is eated by her cats...), you can still cut back. For instance, if I was inclined to practice such antisocial behavior, I have found that even the cheaper chardonnays are better than the stuff I pay much more money for on a by-the-glass basis at, oh... let's say My Regular Bar.

5. Dry-cleaning should also be minimized, so when you're drinking at home, try not to spill on your clean khakis. I'm trying very hard to cut my dry-cleaning bill (which, at $35 per week or so, was admittedly a bit ridiculous) through dramatic measures like resisting the urge to take things in every time I think about wearing them.

6. Cigarettes are expensive and socially reprehensible and I love them so forget about it.

7. Vitamin Water costs $2 per bottle. Tap water is free, and I've already got multi-vitamins that don't expire until June, 2004.

8. If you unplug your telephone between the hours of 8:00 AM and 9:00 PM, Monday through Sunday, so that bill collectors can't reach you, you have plausible deniability.

And there you have it. Follow these tips from TRL, and save, save, save!

You're welcome!