THE CARNIVAL OF UGLY
Warning: before you click this link, make sure your eye-bleach is close at hand.


(Via Fark)

A QUESTION OF CONFIDENTIALITY
I would ordinarily never link to this story, because here at The Rob Log I never bring you news articles of qestionable taste. This blog is all about sunshine and happiness, and don't you forget it, motherfuckers.

However, this article demands your attention. And not just for the man-on-sheep action. No, what makes this article special are the accompanying graphics.

Rest assured that The Sun will never violate the confidentiality of crime victims. Who says that journalistic ethics are dead?

OW! NO! PLEASE STOP!! NO MORE!!! MOMMY!!!!!
Sorry. I'm scheduled for a root canal in 45 minutes, so I'm just getting some practice in.


UPDATE: After an hour of drilling and picking, the dentist decided my bifurcated root should be taken care of by a specialist. So I get to have two consecutive days of oral surgery! How lucky can you get? It's as if Christmas came early!

And I didn't even get any drugs out of the deal. Feh!

AW... NO...
This referrer makes Baby Jesus cry.

At least, if you're a good gay boy and this springs to mind first when you see the word 'merman':Gotta go bleach the eyes now.

MWAH!
Your Election Day treat: Not-So-Young Democrats in love:



Don't blame me, blame the New York Post.

WARNING: GRATUITOUS MEANNESS AHEAD
In South Dakota, they have their very own page scandal.

And wouldn't you know it: it's always the prettiest politicians who get themselves in this kind of trouble.

(I know... I know... that was just unnecessary. And yet it felt so good.)

JUST A FEW SHORT BLOCKS FROM MY APARTMENT



I could have been killed. But did you call, text, or e-mail to express your concern? No.

I am so disappointed in my readers. Joe My God gets dozens of comments, and I get none? Wow. I thought you were past all that Trust Fund Boys-era animosity.


UPDATE: Uh... okay, your lack of concern tells me that you know I don't live that close to the accident. But if the plane had crashed .45 miles earlier, and -- instead of flying into the 40th Floor or whatever -- it had nosedived into the second floor, and if I had been home in the middle of the afternoon for the first time in three years, well... I could have been in danger!

Ah, screw it. You like Joe My God and not me. I accept that.

But if you want to see something really scary, blogger Kip Esq. is someone who has every reason to have his heart going thumpa-thump right now. Check out his entry from yesterday afternoon, and his exclusive home video.

"BUT HE WAS GRANTED ONE MORE START..."
John Mark Karr goes looking for Roxie Hart.


Memo to self: less time with Broadway musicals; more time with life.

THE HAZARDS OF MASS TRANSIT
I must be taking the wrong trains. Or the right ones...