BEST OF THE BLOG 2004, PART 1 (January-March)
Since we're nearing the end of the year, I've been sifting through the last twelve months worth of mostly-inane blog entries, looking for the few times I posted when I was sober enough to make sense. Whether short and pissy or long and thoughtful insightful pissy, here are a few of the entries that I can honestly say I am not a full 100% ashamed of having written.

JANUARY
A Brief Biography of Famous Author Rob Byrnes
I hope you've come to know me and enjoy The Rob Log just a tiny bit better through this indulgent, confessional entry.

Reason #372 to Burn the Baby Pictures
"Guess we can tell who sucked down most of Mrs. Kutcher's placenta."

6 Train Loving
Scary-looking Puerto Rican guy with the bulging eyes: I'll make you a mental deal. You stop staring at me like you're Manson and I'm some random Tate or LaBianca, and I'll offer you either New Yorker Woman or Very Gay-Looking Jewish Guy as a sacrifice the minute we arrive at 77th Street. 'kay?

We Have Oscar Nominations to Be Judgmental About!
I confidently predict that it's the Year of Asia in American Cinema.

At Words Poetic I'm So Pathetic
I’m a blogger who
Blogs through Blogger, who
Can’t stop...


FEBRUARY
GASP!
What can I say? It was a lame month, folks.


MARCH
Huh?
This whiskey-soaked bozo is kidding, right?

No No No No No No No No No!
First, let's define 'grizzly'...

Dear Iowa: Please Stop Calling Me
I would not have only kicked Kerry's ass, but would have made Dean actually cry.

Jay Leno: The Thief of Blogs
Sigh. I am so disappointed in Jay Leno...

Fun With Liza and Mike
Which is my long way of setting up the situation I found myself in last night, when I unexpectedly ended up hanging out with Multimillionaire Actress-Singer Liza Minnelli and Billionaire Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

If You Wait Long Enough, the Explanation Usually Becomes Apparent
...The Advocate, supposedly THE national gay and lesbian magazine, is generally lame. I mean, it's like People for the same-sex crowd.

All Blog Entry Ideas Have Now Apparently Been Used Up
I bought a new plastic colander a few month ago...
[This is the entry that started the brief but hilarious 'I Can Be as Boring as Jason Kottke' meme. My great moment of fame...]

Gang Warfare in the Red States
In New York, the kids will shoot you. In LA, they'll knife you. But in Indiana, apparently they'll kill you with attitude...

Coming soon: a look back at the highlights of April through June. And remember: I read the archives so you don't have to.

You're welcome.